nacho-joe-yo-deactivated2022012:

Monster fucker this, monster fucker that. What if I want a monster RELATIONSHIP huh?! Monster HAND HOLDING, monster INTIMATE CONVERSATIONS, monster COMFORTABLE SILENCE??

podencos:

I do believe in the power of sitting in your car just a little longer before heading inside, lying upside down on the couch, cloud gazing well into adulthood, taking the time to learn something new, humility, recollecting your dreams, pressing something warm against your belly, small talk w strangers, odes to romance, a lit candle on your countertop while you cook, having a sense of humor about life

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

having a child has taught me that every toddler is completely justified in their frustrations and tantrums because learning how to do something you have literally never encountered or heard of before is insane. and being expected to be completely calm in the face of this constant barrage of overwhelming information is doubly insane.

i got charlie a sticker activity book and it occurred to me i have to TEACH someone how to unpeel stickers. it’s SKILL that requires DEXTERITY and FINE MOTOR ABILITY. i thought it was obvious that you have to curl the page a little bit to create a break in the cut so the sticker comes up.

obviously a fucking BABY wouldn’t know that because they have no background experience to inform their thought process. OBVIOUSLY. and OBVIOUSLY the LITERAL BABY wouldn’t get it right the first few times. it would OBVIOUSLY take practice. lots of it.

i hate this feeling. it’s so obvious. why are children treated so badly when they’re learning everything for the first fucking time. why do people treat children so horribly and expect so much. they’re brand new. why didn’t i get the same grace i give to my child? why did no one have patience for me? why, when it’s this easy?

it’s so easy. it’s so fucking easy.

louisegluckpdf:

LOVEEE when i’m in the kitchen while someone else is cooking and they say “could you give that a stir for me?” brother. i would be HONORED to give that a stir for you

warmpants:

girl are you a kettle because you’re sooooo hot. and yelling atme

jame7t:

hey asshole! you lifted up the rock and now I have to scuttle! motherfucker!

pastadoughie:

crazy-brazilian:

aiweirdness:

aiweirdness:

AI-generated Valentine cards

Tired of generic greetings?

Confuse your friends with AI-generated Valentine cards!

GPT-3 generated the messages and descriptions, and then I followed its instructions to create the cards. More explanation here!

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How this abomination came to be (and bonus content)

You can get these on real cards - confuse your human friends!

2023 update: roses are red

littlemousejelly:

i wanna feel you all over me (before i wake up)

relationship: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor

rating: E

word count: 2.6k

Summary:

Lena sways back on weak knees, a soft whimper caught in her throat. Her sleepshirt slips up and pools around her waist, the cool morning breeze wafting in from the open window a soothing balm to the heated skin of her lower back.

An unexpected pause the span of several heartbeats.

“Are you… are you aware you have back dimples?” Kara finally asks, voice strained.

OR

Lena loves slow mornings with Kara.

(read on ao3)

couchycosmos:

spaghettioverdose:

❗ dailyquests Follow

• Buy her a BURGER and FUCK her GAY ASS

3,230 notes

❗ evildailyquests Follow

• Buy her a BURGER and tie her GAY ASS to TRAIN TRACKS

9,986 notes

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victim4life:

papayajuan2019:

papayajuan2019:

i want love

it’s coming

spiritunwilling:

gods weakest soldier. minor events kick the shit out of me daily god hands me his lightest battles and i start sniffling and fumbling the bag

qv:

outsidetheeva:

Me when i want to fucking watch blue but that stupid bitch wants to watch red